Belonging
by 1VioletMoon1
Summary: (Rated T for langugage) "The feeling of not belonging, of not being entirely worthy, of being sometimes hostage of your own sensibilities. Those things speak to me very personally." 15 year old Valerie Archwood moves in with her aunt at Sweet Amoris after her year-long depression. As she settles in, she fails to see how she can be happy here, that is until she meets Castiel Hines.
1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter One –Arrival :_**

It was, in fact, a horrible thing when I had to move. There I was, finally feeling what every human craves: belonging. My parents, however, thought it would be best to send me off to live with my aunt after my yearlong depression. Fortunately, it's old waters now, and I can finally say with gusto that I am a lot happier. Or was, until my parents forced me to move.

The still frost clamped onto the thick windows, gripping the glass in the midst of the frozen fog. All my thoughts seemed to be merged into one big buddle of endless pandemonium.

Aunt Agatha didn't actually live that far from where I used to live, but the ride seemed to take countless hours, although it was really only a four hour distance from New York to Sweet Amoris.

As though my prayers had been answered, the train halted to my final stop. Before I stood, my eyes had already swept over to Aunt Agatha through the window. She stood, casually, by a few benches. Her long hair was tinted pink this time.

Every time I saw Aunt Agatha her hair was dyed in another bright and unusual color. That was one of the little things that made her ten times more awesome.

As I stood from my seat, our eyes meet. Her face grew bright, and she promptly waved at me, one of her dress's straps falling on one side. I waved back, smiling through the window.

All right, perhaps the situation wasn't so bad after all. I really loved Aunt Agatha, despite the fact that she could be completely insane more times than I could count. Not to mention she had an ancient and slightly unhealthy obsession with my literally nonexistent love life.

As I tugged my earphones off I descended the train's steps, skipping the last one to avoid the narrow gap. The air was sweet here. Actually sweet. I suppose the town's name has its valid reasoning.

"Sweetie!" Aunt Agatha's wholesome, sugary voice approached from behind. "My, look at how much of a woman you've become!"

I halted my single suitcase to a stop beside me before replying, "I don't think a 5''6, size B-cup, 15 year old could be viewed as a grown woman, Auntie."

I chuckled, she laughed.

"Oh, come here you snarky little cuddle-wubby!"

Agatha's slim arms pulled me into a tight embrace before I could utter a single response to her cringe worthy nickname. Even so, I returned her gesture fondly.

We lingered, her soft hands drawing consistent circles on my back. After a few moments, she said, "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed me the most, Valerie. But, now that we're together, I swear I will. Always."

Part of me wanted to protest, to say that my depression was long dead and gone. The other part of me, however, was realistic enough to see that I wasn't sure. It could see I wasn't sure if I would ever be happy here. Even with Auntie here to pick up the broken shards of my chest's insides, to swiftly puzzle them back together one by one, and finally kissing the wound well. Even with all that, I just didn't know.

* * *

><p>Two stories, quite narrow, pastel colored. Those were the words that best described my aunt's house. Though through vague memories, I still remembered skidding along the front yard as a child. The hem of my dress torn from all the scraping against the various rose bushes, my brunette ponytail limp and tousled from all the running around and my chubby cheeks flustered with adrenaline.<p>

I think that was the first time I saw that house without a smile on, and in turn, a frown.

* * *

><p>Once settled in, Aunt Agatha decided it would be best if I walked around town for a while. After all, it was still early and school only officially began for me on Monday. I accepted, mostly out of boredom rather than curiosity.<p>

The streets were different from what I expected. Yet, they were exactly how the name suggested. They were sweet and lovely.

Giggling little children ran around wildly through the parks, old couples nuzzled against each other lovingly as they watched, while other people… just seemed genuinely happy to be alive, I guess.

This whole town was so unlike New York. The streets there were flooding with rushing people who never even thought of smiling, just of how late they were to their monotonous meetings. It was like all life was drained out of them. An open tap with no water to spill.

I decided to text Vicktor as I sat beneath the shadows of a tall oak tree near the park.

_From: Valerie _

_To: Contact name: "Vicky"_

"_forgot to text when I arrived. sorry. been here for a few hours."_

A few moments later, a reply:

_From: Vicktor_

_To: Contact Name: "Val-Val~"_

_"__Val! Hey! how was the the travelling? is it cool there? met any1 yet?"_

_From: Valerie _

_To: Contact name: "Vicky"_

_"__wow there, vic haha. I said I arrived a few hours back, not years! but yeah, it's actually very pretty and full of life."_

_From: Vicktor_

_To: Contact Name: "Val-Val~"_

_"__sooooo the exact opposite of NY?" _

I stifled a laugh. Vicktor has been my best friend since kindergarten. He had always defended me from obnoxious kids who would pick on me. In return, I would do the same for him.

After texting him for a good while I headed back to auntie's house, or more appropriately, tried to head back. I got hopelessly lost in a town the size of a pea. Worse, I couldn't find a bright pastel house. Well, actually, many houses were bright here, little were dark colored.

The late afternoon sun slowly sank down the tall hills bordering the town, a single drop of sweat trickled down my neck as I found myself not being able to find the street Aunt Agatha lived in.

My breaths quickened, and my lips felt raw from all the chewing I've been doing on them. _How did I even manage to get lost here?_

What felt like hours passed by. I kicked a near trash can in defeat, falling to my knees helplessly.

"Hey! Get out the way, girl."

A rough voice came from above me. Raising my head, I found that it was a boy. A pretty peculiar looking boy, but a boy nonetheless. He had thin red hair reaching his jawline, a shirt of a band (that I actually quite enjoyed) with a black leather jacket over it.

He was quite attractive, not going to lie here. But, then my eyes landed on his.

I never quite understood what authors meant with stone cold eyes before (and, admittedly, I still sort of don't) but if I had to guess, I'd say his fit the exact definition. In that moment, his eyes were so dark they seemed to have no pupils at all.

I was frozen, staring at his towering figure.

"Didn't you hear me? Move!" He spat, crossed arms falling to his sides.

I was afraid he was going to kick me out of the way like a helpless little pebble, so like the dimwit I am I tried to ease him with humor.

"You see, I would, but your overwhelming presence just has my feeble little self on my knees." I said, instantly regretting each word as it worked its way from my mouth. Yup, he was definitely going to kick me out the way like a pebble if he didn't want to before.

I thought I saw his lips twitch and his tensed up shoulders relax slightly.

"Who are you?" He asked, almost mumbling.

"Valerie Archwood."

I was about to ask his name when his gaze left mine. Without another sound, he sidestepped me, making his way forward.

I stared at his fading figure, not knowing quite what to do.

A few ants pecked at my thighs and I jumped to my feet, frantically brushing them off. When I looked up again, he was out of sight.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter Two - Sweet Amoris High: _**

The weekend went by without a single eventful happening taking place. I didn't get out of the house once I finally found Agatha's place, which was almost at one in the morning. Needless to say, my aunt found it best I only went out if I was with her from there on out. I couldn't agree more.

Well, maybe one thing that could be considered eventful happened on Sunday morning.

"Agatha, I want to go out."

"Sure. Where to, Val?" She looked up from the newspaper she was reading.

"Anywhere, really."

She laughed. I just gaped at her. "You seem quite desperate. What, tired of hanging 'round with your sweet ol' aunt already?"

"No. It's just that sitting around in my room all day really reminds me of… the bad times. You know?"

"Oh, I see."

After that, she promised we'd go out for dinner as soon as she got back from work. I was already asleep when she came home that night, so that plan went right down the drain.

When the next morning rolled its way over to silent little Sweet Amoris, I had a new perspective on the whole situation. I didn't feel so stupid and gloomy anymore. If anything, I actually felt really happy and energized.

That morning, I walked to school with Agatha. She said that she left for work earlier than I did for school, so she showed me how to walk to Sweet Amoris High by myself.

Looking around the town now, I realized just how much of a moron I was to get lost. The park I went to on Friday was literally one straight street away from home. One. Street. Away. Just _how_ did I manage to get lost?!

"Sweet Amoris High! Isn't it pretty, Valerie?"

I redirected my attention to the tall building before me. I didn't even notice we arrived already. "It's a building, auntie. Literally, a building."

"A pretty building!"

I laughed. "Everything is kinda pretty here! I'll admit."

She poked me teasingly on the hips. "Seeeeeeee~? You're already warming up to the place! I honestly thought you were going to say this place was overly colorful and happy."

"The high school is probably the least colorful place here, auntie. I mean, have you _actually _taken a good long look at your house?"

She rolled her eyes, turning the next corner. "You're so grumpy!" She waved me goodbye one last time before leaving, "See you later!"

I watched her clumsily race toward work. My, I've never seen a woman so obsessed with work. I mean, she worked on _Sundays_. Sundays are meant for rest, even the bible said so… Or was it Saturdays that were meant for rest?

I kept reflecting upon that as I walked the main hallway. The school, itself, was really small. Agatha told me only about 200 students went here. In New York, my school had _2000 _people_, _just to give some perspective.

"Um, good morning. Would you happen to be Valerie Marie Archwood?" A soft, barely audible, voice asked.

Yes, my two first names rhymed. My father's a cheesy poet.

As I turned to the voice's direction, I was presented with a tall blond guy. At first, I almost thought he was a teacher, due to the fact that he was wearing a tie in a no-uniformed school. However, his boyish face begged to differ.

"Yeah, that would be me. Why?" I said.

He smiled, though it was obviously kind of forced. "I'm Nathaniel Willhem, the student body president. As a new member of our high school, you are required to give some paperwork in and the like. For official purposes and all."

He seemed nice enough. "Right. About that, my aunt said she passed by a few days ago to hand those in."

He scowled, and before he could formulate a response, the sound of a pair of shoes thumping on the floor accompanied with an angry voice interjected.

"Hey, Nathaniel! Don't you dare think you can get away from me, you fuckmuffin."

One would probably expect me to be shocked – perplexed with the sudden interruption and language. And I could easily say that here, but instead I'll just say the truth because I laughed so hard at the insult "fuckmuffin" that I can't possibly deny it. I wanted to applause at whoever said that. There, the truth.

Nathaniel, surprisingly, didn't seem fazed either, but he didn't laugh like I did. Instead, he exhaled through his nose, closing his eyes in exasperation, and turned around. I looked at where Nathaniel's eyes landed, and surely enough I saw the weird boy from yesterday stomping our way.

"Dude, I am _not _signing this stupid shit," he shoved a square piece of paper to Nathaniel's chest. "Leave me alone already!"

_The perks of transferring schools mid-term, _I thought, silent throughout the encounter otherwise.

Nathaniel seemed thrown off by this, but just slightly. "Castiel, if you really want to avoid signing detention slips, you probably should have just attended class like the rest of your classmates."

Castiel, Nathaniel, why do they all have angelic names?

I suppose Nathaniel's suits him. Blond, fair, blue eyes, handsome; as I said, totally suits him. However the other boy…

"Whatever. You know I can't-"

His eyes shifted my way. He took a good long look at me without saying a word.

"Uh, hey there," I didn't really know what to say, evidently.

He pursed his lips, and then smirked. "Violet, was it?"

"Valerie, actually," I said. "I can't tell if you pretended not remembering my name to seem cool or just genuinely didn't remember."

"Whatever, it's not like you know my name, Viola."

"Ah, so you were trying to be cool! By the way, _Castiel,_ I do know your name now, thanks to Nathaniel."

Nathaniel, who seemed completely confused, kept switching his gaze from Castiel to me as we talked. Students gradually started entering the halls, looking strangely at the red haired boy gripping the blond student council president as he exchanged snarky remarks with the new girl.

"I don't need to pretend being cool, Vivian."

I was about to reply when Nathaniel shoved himself away from Castiel, dumbstruck. After looking between us again, he said, "What? Y-You two know each other?"

"Sort of," we both replied in unison.

Nathaniel tightened his loose tie, ran a hand through his hair, and cleared his throat. Castiel rolled his eyes, and I chuckled.

"I'm sorry for the –uh, interruption, Valerie. As I was saying –"

I knew words were escaping Nathaniel's lips, and I really wanted to pay attention to them, but I was still a little surprised by how Castiel just walked out of the scene after almost choking the student council president. Nathaniel didn't seem to mind at all, but I minded.

Whoever this Castiel was, however funny he may be, perhaps I should stay away.

* * *

><p>In the end, I gave in a missing sheet Nathaniel needed and was free to get going to classes. My homeroom teacher, Mr. Faraize was nice enough. Although he was obviously petrified of the school principal, who seemed like such a sweet lady.<p>

Anyway, when the lunch bell finally rang, I was both relieved and worried. Relieved, because although I've covered everything we're studying in my old school I still had to catch up on the piles of work I missed from the first half of the term. Worried, because I didn't know anyone. Not anyone I could calmly sit at lunch with, anyway.

The cafeteria wasn't packed. In fact, there were no tables there, just the food counters. I wasn't hungry, so I didn't take any food. But I was curious as to where all the students went.

By the chocolate desserts was a girl with ginger hair that was neatly braided to her side, wearing a purple shirt and jeans shorts over striped tights.

I think I saw her in my biology class before… Isabelle? Lina?

"Hey! I'm pretty sure I'm in your bio class and uh… so, where do we eat?" I had a feeling there was something wrong with how I approached her.

She turned her eyes toward me, and surprisingly, smiled. I had a feeling she'd make up an excuse and leave (that happened a lot in New York, anyway). "Ah, yeah, I know. You're Valerie, right? I'm Iris. Nice to meet you!" She dived straight for my hand and shook it. "I realize it might be kind of weird, but we eat wherever we want. Mostly, though, in the courtyard."

"Really? I need to say that's… kinda weird." I chuckled. She did too.

After that Iris invited me to eat with her friends. They were all so… different from one another. Iris was in the music club, and seemed to be really passionate about it. Her friend Kim was very strong willed and tough, but still really cool. Then there was Violette, who didn't really talk much but appeared to constantly draw on her sketching pad. Finally, there was Melody who was really pensive and insightful, but managed to surprisingly make me laugh sometimes at her silly remarks.

When lunch was over, I had a few more classes. History, English and P.E., all of which Castiel had too but ditched. I guess he didn't take Nathaniel's suggestion in mind, I don't know why I thought he would.

* * *

><p>Sweating, panting, and exhausted I made my way out of P.E. Academically, I could handle this school very well. But I didn't know if I could physically. Then again, I might have just been really out of shape.<p>

I pulled my sports bag closer to me and walked through the front gates. The air was still and humid, there were no kids playing in the streets now, and the clouds above darkened as I walked.

I wasn't worried of getting stuck in a storm; I was literally a few streets from Agatha's. And it all seemed to follow along well until I actually got to the front door. It was locked. I forgot to ask Agatha for keys. Why was my luck so overwhelmingly biting?

In defeat, I slouched before the house. I massaged my temples, trying to ease my own stupidity from gnawing at my nerves.

Wait. Agatha worked at the local costume store. Maybe if I tried to find-

"I'm seriously starting to think you're homeless, Vicky."

At the familiar voice I sighed. I looked up and – of _course _– it was that Castiel guy. He wore essentially the same kind of clothing as yesterday. The thing was, a thin cigarette hung from his lips this time. He smoked, I should've figured.

I straightened up a little. "I'm seriously starting to think you're stalking me."

He smirked. "Ah, definitely. Because my life is obviously a whole buddle of nothingness unless I follow your every move."

I shrugged. "They say rebels get intrigued by piquant new girls."

"What did you just say? _Piquant?_ Where did you pull that from, the SAT vocab quizlet?"

"Not really. One day I just decided to become a sarcastic idiot with an ironically high vocabulary." I laughed, in silent demeanor to make him laugh along.

"Tsh. Why didn't I guess sooner?" I almost succeeded. He let out that typical 'I'm-too-cool-to-laugh-but-will-chuckle-ever-so-slightly-because-it's-actually-funny-derp' sort of laugh.

I was about to ask why he was there in the first place when we both saw Aunt Agatha turn the corner. As soon as he saw her, Castiel left. Just like that – no explanation. Then again, it wasn't like I knew him or anything. He could leave without mention.

Yet… it almost felt like he somehow knew Agatha was my aunt and that she wouldn't be happy to see him talking to her niece.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: **

"Are you okay?" Violette whispered, pulling at my sleeve.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little distracted."

We were sitting side by side on classroom B, where apparently all announcements and exams took place. Seeing as the whole grade was called here, you'd expect it to be quite crammed. But really, our grade had about 15 people. Not too much, at all.

The day had been going relatively smoothly until then. Classes, classes, little chats with the girls in between classes, and more classes. But then the principal called us for an announcement – she seemed quite angry. I guess now I understand why everyone's afraid of her now.

"Well then, students, I've had quite an awful day and would love it if YOU GUYS WOULD PLEASE SIT STILL AND LISTEN."

Everyone shut up, went still, and stiffened their gazes right at her.

She cleared her throat and smoothed her hair down. "Right, thank you." She turned to Mr. Faraize and snapped her fingers sharply, urging him to hand her over a sheet of paper.

"As you may well have noticed, for the past months our school has not been providing you health class – as we usually would do," that caught everyone's attention right up. "So, starting – CASTIEL HINES, DO TAKE YOUR FILTHY FEET OFF THE DESK!" Castiel rolled his eyes but obliged. She went on as though nothing happened, "Good boy. As I was saying, starting today you will start the class again, with a small project as a head start."

Lysander raised his hand, which was odd; he never really talked in class.

"Yes… Lysander?" Said Mr. Faraize, who seemed quite surprised himself.

"What exactly is this 'small project'?" Lysander asked.

Mr. Faraize was about to answer, but the principal cut him right off. "I am glad you asked, young man! For each class, we picked a health project. You lot have the assignment to take care of a baby, in pairs." Everyone stifled a laugh. Hell, _I _tried not to laugh. "Not a real one, or course, but you will be graded on your parental skills."

The thing is, I've done this project before. It was a way of preventing kids our age from getting pregnant and not having sex until they're 18, but the schools always claim it was to ensure good parents for the future. Yeah, right.

The principal screamed at us again to get our attention. It was really scary, but I guess it did work.

"Now, you have until the end of lunch to pick out your partners, as your health class will be right after lunch break ends." As if on cue, the lunch bell rang, dismissing us.

Great, I have been here for less than a month and already I need to ask someone to be my partner for such an embarrassing project.

People slowly stood, gathering their things. I took the opportunity to look around the classroom for potential partners. God, this sounded like I was a lonely predator in mating season.

Some people were already picking each other out – Iris asked Melody, Kim asked Violette, and suddenly all the sort-of-friends I had were taken. Then I tried the other side of the room, where Lysander seemed ask a girl named Rosa or something (they could pass as brother and sister, maybe they were). Nathaniel seemed to have found a partner as well.

I sighed, playing a piece of wool with my fingers. I took a look at the classroom's exit, as last resort. Castiel moved hastily, silently. I didn't want to ask him, but in a way I sort of had to.

It took all my power to heave myself up and follow behind him. At least, it felt like it did.

"Castiel…" I tried. He just moved forward. I don't think he heard me.

"Castiel!" I pulled his sleeve and he turned sharply to face me, eyes on fire. Yeah, I don't think he's in a great mood today.

"What do you want?" He demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Uh, hello."

"Hi."

Silence.

"So I know you'll kinda say no, but why not raise a mechanical baby with me?"

I seriously had the oddest ways of asking people things.

His lips quirked up to a smirk, the mood seeming lighter now that he did that. "Sure, as long as we get to do the fun part of the whole baby thing."

"In your dreams," I hit his arm lightly. "Does that make us partners, then?"

"I don't really have anyone else to partner up with, so sure." He tried so hard to seem like he didn't like me. It was so amusing. And hey, at least he was in a good mood now.

I smiled, placing my hands on my hips. "Great, looks like we're getting our first baby after lunch."

"First baby? Seems like you either can't keep yourself off of me or you just want a huge family."

I chuckled, "How about wanting a good grade in this project?"

He creased his eyebrows, looking kind of confused. I admit he looked kind of cute doing that. Kind of. Sort of. A little bit. "I don't care as long as you change the mechanical diapers." He said.


End file.
